


Right in the light

by kalime80



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Episode: s01e12 Malec, First Kiss, M/M, Malec, POV Alternating, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 11:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6468850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kalime80/pseuds/kalime80
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on Magnus's and Alec's thoughts before/during/after that gorgeous kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right in the light

**Author's Note:**

> Alec's voice is in italics

What do I have to lose, what do I risk?

Nothing. Not more than you. Just this

ultimate heartbreak; living with myself

with the perpetual ache of being unloved

closing off, locking up, turning to stone

until I’ll be this marble masterpiece

\- Michelangelo’s prison- trapped inside

a block of numbness, never to be set free

with loving blows of hammer and of chisel

if it’s not by your hand. No other has the skill

and I will last forever, dead inside,

unable to feel nothing but regret

for you, for your life wasted

in lies and loneliness, regret for me

that all I said and did, all that I am

was not enough to make you really see.

 

_For tradition and honor, for my family’s name,_

_for my parents, for duty. This is right._

_When my arrow’s released from the taut string_

_it wavers not. It follows its straight path_

_to its intended target. So should I._

_I must rule with my head. “What about love?”_

_echoes your voice. I can’t hold on the lie._

_I do not want that rune upon my skin._

_Then you enter the room. I cannot breathe_

_nor take my eyes off you. Archer I am._

_Confusion fades. I know my aim is true._

_How many times have I turned away from you?_

_I can’t do that again. I must be sick:_

_the symptoms you described, I have them all_

_and I can’t help but stare into your eyes_

_to the silent demands you try to hide._

 

Please understand, I have to be right here

defenseless and unmoving, all shields down.

I will not flirt, nor laugh or give you wine,

I will not ask again, not even talk.

Without magic, face glitter-less and blank

I stand before you – offer and sacrifice.

Take me or break me, do what’s best for yourself.

The time is up. Now, Alexander, choose.

 

_I’ve always been a warrior, not a prize,_

_a protector from demons, Fearless more than a rune_

_but you are braver, fiercer. In your eyes_

_hope battles with despair. I cannot tell_

_the price you paid in swallowed pride and wounds_

_to come here, yet you bring the greatest gift:_

_freedom for me to choose what’s in my heart_

_and suddenly that’s easy. I make my choice._

 

Time stills, and still you stare. What would I give

to be able to read thoughts, just this once.

You step down from the altar with the stride of a soldier.

Will you tell me to leave or give me life?

 

_Your jacket’s velvet, soft, red as the blood_

_that I feel thrumming – is it your heart or mine?-_

_as I pull you into me, and softer yet_

_your parting mouth. Now I can breathe again._

 

Your mouth, so sweet and hungry,

the things you make me feel, oh I want more.

 

_Your smoky eyes, I can’t believe I did this._

_Your lips asking for more. Am I allowed?_

 

Your gaze so soft. Yes, more.

I’ll take the fall with you, kiss me some more.

 

_The small smile in the corner of your mouth._

_Yes, more, I really want to kiss you more._

 

Yes, more, and deeper, as you tilt your face.

How our breath hitches, how I love your taste.

 

_More, and your strength sustains me._

_More, and the sparkles fly._

 

You really amaze me. How I adore your smile.

I will be there for you whatever comes.

 

_Better than breaking noses, taste your mouth_

_consequences be damned, if you’ll just stay._

 

More than unlock, you slammed me open wide

and I can’t wait to feel you step inside.

 

_I’m done with feeling I’m wrong in the dark:_

_with you, finally I stand right in the light._

 


End file.
